First and foremost I have to say that here I am talking for myself. Not in my father’s or sisters’ name, I express only what I feel and think regarding this. But I am sure my sisters’ would agree on much of it, and I hope that if my father gets to read this it will give him cause to do some soul-searching of his own.
It’s a common place saying there are no words to express certain feelings.
However, many times during the last weeks I have found this to be true time and time again.
At first, during the first weeks out of the pure dread and worry over the seriousness of the situation. And, as the days progressed, and friends, patrons and strangers started offering their support, and the Universe itself started blessing us with unlikely silver linings, I found myself short on words again to express my gratitude and pure awe.
This experience has been full of hard learning and blessings, even though there have been complications at every turn the situation could have been so much worse. And, although there is still a road to walk to “normalcy”, it is clear that without the support of you all it would have been so much harder.
Thanks to what has been gathered during the fund-raisers I can cover the credit card debt of the costly expenses of that first week hospitalization. Thanks to you all I will be able to cover his medicine expenses. Thanks to you all I will be able to cover his apartment rent expenses for a few months while he is able to give classes again. Because he indeed will be able to resume most of his normal life (though there are still some uncertain risks) with time. And that on itself is the biggest blessing.
But it’s not just about money. It’s about caring, and support. It’s about living in the flesh that what goes around comes around. I have never prided myself on being a “good” person, though I do believe in kindness, and compassion, and caring, and I have tried to express that through my work and the way I do business as best I can. And it’s not because I expected anything in return, it is because I truly believe that we can be a better persons, and the road to a better world and a more enlightened human race starts with the self.
But though this all I have learned, that as my friend Saffia quoted to me “Cast your bread upon the waters, for you will find it after many day” (Ecclesiastes 11), and I have found this to be true. And for that I am deeply grateful. Thank you all for caring, thank you for helping. Either in word and funds and prayer.
You have not only helped us through a deep crisis, you have changed my life personally, for now I feel I understand better myself, I have stared my fears in the eye, and found only myself: “I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.” (Dune)
And I pray my father learns this too, but as the Seeker knows, that part no one can do for oneself. I have remembered why humanity deserves a place in the Stars, with your help. I can offer you in return only my deep felt gratitude, and tell you that it has been one of the hardest things I have ever done, to ask for help, and I have learned of humbleness and strength though it. I have learned that helping one that one loves is not saving them, is just helping them as much as one can, and letting them realize that so much depends on their own decisions, choices, thoughts and emotions.
I have tried to remain attentive and listen to the lessons being taught by all of you, by life, by the Universe. And I hope I will always be able to listen attentively and continue learning. And will always remember with gratitude your love and help, and will strive to honour it through action, word and thought.
Thank you for your love, your time, your work, your effort, your generosity, your creativity, your caring. Thank you to all the members and organisers of Filling the Cauldron and Ember’s Cauldron. Thank you to the performers, artists, creators, designers, bloggers, photographers, attendees, donors, dancers, participants, auctioneers, DJs, writers. Thank you to all of you.
I wish I could thank you all personally. But be sure I think of all of you, and I wish the Universe repays you thousand fold your generosity, and these seeds flourish into what we can be as a species, caring, forgiving, understanding.